Humor and Sarcasm

Roger’s Random Photography Marketing Generator

By
Published April 2, 2017

Somedays I get bored with testing. Somedays I have to read new product release blurbs and get nauseous. And somedays I find something funny on the internet.

All three of these happened the other day, which led to me randomly corresponding with Seb Pearce about my thoughts that today’s photography marketing blurbs were so boring they might as well be generated by a computer. Which, led, of course, to generating random photography marketing blurbs by a computer – basically I collected a bunch of over used adjectives and phrases and Seb designed an engine to string them together fairly randomly. Then we threw in a bit of extra verbiage that I just thought should be there as Easter Eggs.

So if you’re bored (or maybe laid off your marketing department and need some copy for that new lens you’re about to release), follow the link, click on Generate and see what you get. It might be amusing, or it might be almost indistinguishable from a manufacturer’s website.

The Random Photography Marketing Generator

 

And if you don’t like what you get, just hit the Generate button again and you’ll get something else, even more (or less) meaningful.

 

Roger Cicala

Lensrentals.com

March, 2017

 

 

Author: Roger Cicala

I’m Roger and I am the founder of Lensrentals.com. Hailed as one of the optic nerds here, I enjoy shooting collimated light through 30X microscope objectives in my spare time. When I do take real pictures I like using something different: a Medium format, or Pentax K1, or a Sony RX1R.

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Posted in Humor and Sarcasm
  • Kenneth_Almquist

    I tried it and got a description of a product that was particularly relevant to my style of photography: Capable of capturing every scene in its full splendor even when the photographer is not ideal. 🙂

    But the phrase full splendor is so 9 months ago. Today, you would steal a phrase from a recent Google blog post and write that the product was capable of optimizing visual quality for increased user engagement.

  • Thinkinginpictures

    I was so inspired by this that I almost immediately had to own what I didn’t know existed. I then realized I wasn’t sure what exactly it was but knew I must have it. I pulled out my credit card and called the 800 number on the back. I told them, spare no expense…please charge me for that which can’t be named but is followed by a dozen superlatives. Now the waiting game begins…..

  • Joseph Hargrove

    Wow. I left the window with a lens description up and came back to it a few hours later. When I saw it I became very confused because at first I thought it was a review of the latest lens on ‘s website. It took a while to realize my mistake.

    World-class cynicism at its best.

    richard
    —

    I’m not saying don’t believe what you see in my images; I’m saying don’t believe what you see in anyone’s images.

  • Nqina Dlamini

    LOL great time waster. “High resolution snapchat filters”

  • Louie G

    You’ll get sued by the Galactic Association of Non-random and Even Creative Photography Marketing Professionals

  • Sean T

    Hey look, you’re Nikon’s marketing department!

  • I’m not sure about copyright stuff. We slap it on every blog post because we had some cut and pasted under someone else’s name. It also may be Seb’s copyright. That stuff gets done after it leaves my hands.

  • Bob B.

    Thanks for dumbing that down for me. I get it.
    I will have to check out Roger’s link on my iMac today.
    I am learning a lot here…in Roger’s April 1st post I learned what a RickRoll was. How was I living without that knowledge? LOL!

  • Shane Castle

    I looked at the source for the page, and the whole script is right there. I notice that it has a copyright on it. Really? I think one can show prior art. 🙂

    Here is my favorite pattern:
    “Bringing the full force of our breakthrough technology, scientific knowledge, applied automation, and years of experience to bear, we have created a lens that can create images that even [the most discerning photographer/the most critical viewer/Roger] will approve of.”

  • Coach Deberry

    Roger, I this is above my skill level but always loved your insights.

  • Claudia Muster

    Here, it works with Opera and Chrome, but not with Safari or iCab (desktop Mac, no iGadget).
    I especially like the «performance necessary for Fanboy arguments» part. I guess I know who threw this phrase in …

  • Patrick Chase

    The short version is that all browsers on iOS have to use Safari’s WebKit renderer. If a bug of this sort impacts one of them then it’s likely to impact all.

    Chrome on other platforms uses its own Blink renderer.

  • Christopher J. May

    “…this lens offers the clarity required by today’s high-resolution Snapchat filters.”

    Roger, you’ve outdone yourself. Fantastically fun bit of internet humor. Well done, sir.

  • Bob B.

    Thanks for the help…but that discussion is DEFINITELY above my pay grade! LOL!

  • Patrick Chase
  • Bob B.

    It is not working in Chrome on my iPad Pro. (Seriously).
    ..but maybe I have “Block Random Marketing Generators” checked in my preferences…Let me go look at my settings….

  • Barbu Mateescu

    I highly doubt it’s a genuine random generator; looks like it copy-pasted all the launch announcements for every photo product in the last XYZ years. 😉
    Or did you gave early access to a select few (read:every) manufacturers in the business?

  • Barbu Mateescu

    I highly doubt it’s a genuine random generator; looks like it copy-pasted all the launch announcements for every photo product launch. 😉
    Or did you gave early access to a select few (read:every) manufacturers in the business?

  • EcoR1

    Yeah, it does not work in Safari. Not in mobile, not in desktop.

  • Thank you Patrick

  • David

    Haha this reminds me of the Random Deepak Chopra Quote Generator 🙂

  • Patrick Chase

    My favorite is “a price that will enrage your spouse”. Truer words were never spoken.

    Honorable mentions treasured by… repair departments” and “high-resolution Facebook pages”

  • Patrick Chase

    It works in Chrome (full disclosure: I’m a Google employee).

  • Yeah, it looks like it’s Firefox only. Not sure we’ll get that fixed very soon. Sorry, my friends.

  • I’m seeing that it works in Firefox but not Safari (so maybe not on iPhones either?)

  • J L Williams

    So I follow the link, click the button, and absolutely nothing happens. Wow, that’s meta… or maybe just not mobile-friendly?

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