Humor and Sarcasm

Hammerforum.com

Published March 30, 2012

With the recent camera releases (or maybe Spring fever) I’ve been rather amazed watching various photography forums have major melt downs during the last few weeks. I said something about cameras and lenses just being tools, not life and death, and got immediately annihilated. They aren’t just tools, I was told, they are the means to make a living for some people, and the passionate hobby of others. That got me thinking, though: I have friends who make their living as carpenters, and others for whom woodworking is a passionate hobby. I got to thinking how silly their forums would seem if they acted like we do:

So, here’s a thread from Hammeruser.com

 

 

Thread Title: Nails for Stiletto TB15?

Hammeruser: I’ve saved up for months and just got my Stiletto TB15SS titanium hammer. At $220 they’re pricey but with the replaceable stainless steel face, ultra light weight handle, and excellent balance I can see myself using this for many years. I’ve had it 3 days now and it’s just wonderful. Does anyone have any suggestions for a good framing nail to use with this hammer?

Hammergeek: You say it’s wonderful but I don’t see any photos of nails you’ve driven. I think it’s just overpriced crap.

Hammerfiend: You know, Ken Rockbuster said the Stiletto is really overpriced and he wouldn’t have one. For $14 you can get a Tekton rubber mallet set. It’s not any good for driving nails, but it is great for body work on your car. That’s what Ken recommends.

MC: If you really were a professional, you’d be using a Graintex SH 1660 sledgehammer. It’s got a 36 inch handle and 20 lb head and can tear through walls in a heartbeat. Your Stiletto can’t touch this.

Hammeruser: I do framing work and carpentry, so tearing through walls really doesn’t apply to my work.

M.C.: That’s because you have absolutely no skills. A good hammer user can drive nails with a 20 pound sledghammer with no problem. You’re one of those rich doctors, aren’t you, that thinks upgrading your hammer is going to make you a better carpenter?

Hammeruser: Here’s a picture of some framing I did with the hammer yesterday in about 2 hours. I really think it’s going to make me more productive.

Hammertime: I blew up those pictures 200%, ran them through Photoshop and measured the arctan radius of the depth of the nailheads. It’s obvious that you were torquing the hammer from right to left when using it, which makes all of the framing you did inconsequenctial and of no use to anyone. A better hammer doesn’t make up for poor technique.

Banger: A real carpenter could have done that with rusty wire and a rock. It’s not about the equipment, it’s about the carpenter.

Hammerangel2: User, don’t pay any attention to M.C., he’s an absolute Graintex fanboy and has lost all perspective.

M.C.: How would you know what I am? I’ve made hundreds of dollars every year with my Graintex tearing down walls, which makes me a full-time professional. You amateurs make me sick.

Newhammerer: I’ve got an order in for mine through Amazon, but I’m concerned about getting a bad copy. How do I test the hammer when I first get it to make sure I have a good copy?

Thor: You guys are all wrong. I do all my work with an SE 11” rock pick. M. C., haven’t you watched Shawshank Redemtion? That guy hammered through a prison with an SE 11. Sure it took a few years, but anything you really love doing you’ll be doing for years. Just because something is newer, doesn’t make it better.

Hammeruser: Could anyone make some suggestions about good nails?

WhammerHammer: Why don’t you read the manual, do a Google search, and stop wasting our time with inane questions? Besides which, if you were a really good hammerer it wouldn’t matter what type of nails you used.

Whacker: H2O just released their latest Impact Index and the Stilleto rated 92.745, the highest impact per oblique force applied they’ve measured (except for jackhammers).

BigBanger: I don’t trust anything H20 measures, they’re numbers are all crap and don’t reflect real-world hammering. Besides, they down score everything to be equivalent to a 6 ounce jewelers hammer, which makes no sense. I prefer a ‘hand’s on’ review. Maxwell’s reviews over at SilverHammer.com really let you know how a hammer does in the real world.

Nailguru2: Hammeruser, while others will stick with the mainstream manufacturers, I’d take a real hard look at Grip Rite galvanized zinc coated sinkers. They’re a classic design, the sharpest nails made, and have amazing microcontact. Plus they’re hand assembled in Germany, not mass-produced in Taiwan.

Hammergeek: All I can say is after reading this thread I’ve cancelled my order for the Stilletto TB15. I’ll wait until the price drops. In the meantime I’m thinking about buying a used TB10 on the Buy and Sell forum.

Banger: Why don’t you rent one for a few days and see how you like it? Hammerrentals.com has them for $29 for 4 days. You could build a nice shed in that amount of time and really get a feel for how it works for you.

WhammerHammer: I agree with Hammergeek. The price is insane. I’ve started a petition to boycott Stilletto until they make their prices more reasonable. They think just because there’s a 4 month waiting list for their new hammers they can charge whatever they want. They’d sell twice as many if they just charged $25.

Euronailer: You guys think you’ve got it bad? Over here the Stilleto is 300 Euros and we’ve got 17% VAT. You guys in the U. S. need to stop complaining. I may fly over to the U. S. and pick one up, the money I save would pay for 1/162 of my air fare.

Justgotmine. I just finished using my brand new Stilleto. Here’s some shots of nails I’ve driven. Do you guys think I have a good copy of the hammer? The nails seem a little crooked to me, but that might just be technique.

Hammerguru: Justgotmine – looking at your images those are pretty long nails. Were you using good technique with a nail stabilizer? It also seems the hammer wasn’t lined up square to the target. It’s impossible for us to help you if you don’t eliminate all the other variables. It could be the hammer, could be the nails, could be technique.

Nailed’em: Nailguru, you’re always over here spouting about ‘microcontact’ and the way the nails ‘render’. That’s all BS put out by you Grip Right elitists. I can get 4 boxes of Smegma nails for what just one box of Grip Right costs and they work just fine.

Banger: I had to try 4 boxes of Smegma nails to get just one that was sharp.

Nailguru2: I’m not a Smegma fan by any means, but if you get soft nails you can send them back to the factory to be resharpened under warranty. I had them resharpen a box of mine and they were incredible!

Nailer: Did you guys see that Hammerrumors.com says that Big Blu hammers is coming out with an X-2 in time for Hammerkina? It’s going to have a synthetic rubber grip, fiberglass shock absorbing, and a semi-square rocker face. I’m holding off any new purchases till I see some nails driven with that baby.

Roger: In this case, it truly is the user, not the hammer: Hammertime

</Satire off>

Author’s note: This little post got a lot more attention than I had expected. The most interesting thing to me is that it’s now been reposted to forums involving gun collecting, coffee tasting, audiophiles, automobiles, computer programming, videography, racing bicycles, and (I should have known)  various tools. All of whom identified with it. So I guess I learned today that it isn’t just photographers who act like we act. Apparently it’s people.

And from the “OMG are we sick or what?” department, Amazon is now nearly sold out of Stilletto TB15SS. Seriously. You guys just had to try it out, didn’t you? 🙂

Finally, don’t stop reading here. The reader’s comments are much funnier than the blog post. As always, I thank everyone who took the time to post comments. Once again the reader’s comments are better than the author’s blog.

 

PS – for the several people who suggested nail guns should be included in the discussion, that wouldn’t work because . . . .

. . . . wait for it . . .

this forum doesn’t discuss point and shoots.

Author: Roger Cicala

I’m Roger and I am the founder of Lensrentals.com. Hailed as one of the optic nerds here, I enjoy shooting collimated light through 30X microscope objectives in my spare time. When I do take real pictures I like using something different: a Medium format, or Pentax K1, or a Sony RX1R.

Posted in Humor and Sarcasm
  • A real carpenter does not use metal fasteners. My revered teacher, ZenFramerOzawa, considered metal tool trefe, i.e., like pork dung. He taught to dissassemble plane after every stroke, sharpen wooden blade and re-set. Then take another shaving, etc. You get the picture. Even his chisel blades were made of wood!

    To watch ZenHammerKurasawa was pure joy. When he was framing house he was like Mohammed Ali; i.e. he fload like butterfly, stink like bee!

    Only way to connect two pieces of wood is with wood.

    Now, move this damn discussion to the chat room, not ProTools!

  • Mako

    “I will be able to upgrade, for a modest amount supposedly, to the latest digital striker. ”

    The joke being that the RED ONE camera has reached the end of it’s upgradeability, after only four years, as opposed to fourEVER.

  • Looper

    Hey, Mako! Can you get them in RED?

  • Mako

    You guys aren’t going to believe this, but there is this guy who made a fortuned selling SUNGLASSES. He now thinks he can revolutionize the Tool Biz with his new low cost BLOW Hammer. Supposedly what makes it worth going with something untried nor tested is that it will be UPGRADEABLE, forever!!! Now THAT Does sound like a winning idea! Just imagine, four years after buying my BLOW One, I will be able to upgrade, for a modest amount supposedly, to the latest digital striker. I’m only worried that I’m going to end up having to spend a lot above and beyond for accessories, that I’ll need to actually use it! Does this sound to good to be true? I think that german company is going to tank soon … they haven’t come out with anything new in months!

  • tdf

    anybody know anything about that new hammer company called TINTO? they are taking deposits on some new space age hammer that will pound 4 nails at once… I think they are on kickstarter….

    what about advice for a set of gloves? Ive been using a pair of unmatched canvas leather things made in the ukraine but i don’t know if they are right for the kind of hammering i do, specialized work mostly in Truss’s and some roofing

  • ELF

    I really need a tool that will handle everything I work on, from 1/6″ tacks about the diameter of a sewing pin in a 1:60 scale balsa dollhouse to 8″ spikes through 500-lb redwood timbers in custom-built homes and everything in between. I don’t want to have to lug around multiple hammers. Can anyone recommend something that’s truly versatile in that way? Maybe one with interchangeable heads in a reasonable range of shapes and weights?

  • SlapHam

    “Roger Cicala” why oh why did your dad not pull out? Didn’t he know he could have more fun and hammer more often by doing that :/

  • Preordered my Stiletto from Amazon and it finally arrived yesterday, weeks after everyone else got their hands on theirs 🙁
    Anyways tested it as I always do hitting nails with the toolbag on. Very disappointing!! Nails all over the place. Geez, don’t these guys test hammers before putting them out there??? Anyone else with this problem?

  • erika

    Sorry – I’m in the wrong forum. I was looking for a place to get hammered.

  • niels

    Roger, when will you have these in stock for rental? I’d really like to rent and try out before I commit to one hammer or another.

    niels.

  • HammerNoob

    So, I got my new Stiletto TB15SS and I have to say it really looks awesome. I saw that there was a firmware upgrade available. I connected it to my computer but now it’s just sitting there. Is it OK to disconnect it? I wouldn’t want to “brick” it.

    While I haven’t been able to use it yet, I thought I’d share my impressions of this awesome hammer.

    Pros:
    – Nice light weight, Titanium, duh!
    – Much lighter than Graintex from what I’ve read.
    – Well balanced, could swing this baby all day long.
    – Stainless steel face – should never discolor!

    Cons:
    – None, it’s awesome!

    Am thinking of getting a second one so I’ll have a spare in the tool bag in the event that I run into any trouble with this one.

  • Uhit

    …sorry, I don’t want to disturb,
    but this really screws me up…

    You simply missed the whole point of connecting!

    I have done a whole lot of seismic measurements to get a idea,
    why one should nail and not screw – especially if it’s about connecting wood.

    A single precise impulse – like with a (good) hammer –
    enabling the wood to respond with it’s own resonance frequency,
    opens the way for the TRUE connection!

    If one is using a fastscrew system that constantly forces the wood to vibrate in this unnatural frequency, one is only getting a stack of dead wood, but not a arche. Period!

    …that is why there is the old saying:

    “knock on wood”

    …and NOT “screw on wood”!

  • Screwu

    I can’t believe I’m reading this. Since 2008 I’ve been using the fastscrew system. It is quicker lighter and stronger. If you are thinking it is too expensive think again. I can use half the amount of fastenings compared to the old method and in a third of the time. A battery lasts a whole day (I’ve gone for 12 hours on a single charge) The big plus is no more carpal tunnel trauma. Once you’ve tried it you’ll never go back.

  • I’ve been using my android phone to bang in nails for the last year and none of my clients have known the difference. Don’t be fooled into thinking an iphone is the only one you can do this with.

  • Big Banger

    I’ve got a Stanley that I bought at Home Depot for only $29.95. When I put it in my pickup, I’m an instant profeshunal carpenter. Oh, I have a skilsaw too.

  • Don’t get me wrong, the Stillettos are a nice brand. The fit and finish is wonderful and they’re clearly based on the famous Miller Falls 23 Tack Hammer, although sized up 17.8%.

    The problem I see with the design is Titanium. It’s too light. If you’re a working man framing the outside of a 3 story home, using your standard 27 foot Type VI wood composite dual sliding ladder, you’re already a bit off balance.

    Couple that with wind shear as low as 7.4 mph and your chances of face deflection increases by 3.1%! Now your productivity is in the low 96s at best and you’ve already got to add a union hammerer to your crew to meet the date that %^&*!$* architect agreed to.

    We at HAMmer have designed the ultimate nail driving tool. Basing all of our designs on classic Miller Falls tack hammers from the golden age of hammering (1946-1953), we’ve come up with the HAMmer.

    Material tests, 3D modeling and rendering have taken 46.9 man years alone. But, it’s been a labor of love.

    Utilizing materials from the heartland of America and modern technology we’ve created a perfect reproduction of the classic Miller Falls line in a game changing material.

    The material is triple Kryo hardened and has an initial Rockwell Superficial 45N rating of 77.6 (equivalent to a Brale value of 86.6!). The facial deflection has been shown to decrease by 4.2%. You’ll be working at over 100% productivity!

    The initial Kryo slump forms are hand hewn in geo-thermically ideal assembly labs made in Germany to perfectly match the facial facets on the head and even the tiny imperfections in the wood handle “grain” of the Miller Falls line.

    You get the look and feel of the Legend, but with a 23.8% increase in initial mass. Try to match that, Stilletto!

    Be one of the first 1000 new HAMmer owners and receive a free HAMmer Kryo Refidgerainer with slots for 2 HAMmers!

    *Prices not yet set.

  • Hammerkina was great !
    Will it be this year or next ?

    🙂

  • TheInconvenientRuth

    Sorry if this is slightly off-topic, but I really can’t help wondering…
    Which 35mm (D)SLR camera (APS-Whahtever..) woul be the most efficient tool to drive in a nail?

    Having just purchased a Nikon D4 and D800, Eos 5D MkIII and pre-ordered an Eos 1Dx, I’m teerribly afraid I may have not ordered the one most suitable for driving in nails.

    Am I wrong? I still use my F3T with MD4… I feel so… dirty…
    A good friend said it would be the Contax RTS III but I don’t have any lenses for that so the balance would be all wrong?!

    My dad gave me a Kiev 60TTL for my bitrthday in 19xx, but I only use that for marble scultping, really… Hits a chisle like a MoFo…

    Any Pros here who can help me out?

  • Marty

    So are you saying with this new hammer, I can go building a shed in the dark using the 2.0 nail size and not miss? Ordering Stiletto now! Bye bye not getting nailed

    Phew, I was worried that I would mess up sometimes!

    COUNT ME IN!

    Enjoyed this Roger!

  • Roger Cicala

    “Bob”, didn’t you get smacked down enough posting this all over Flickr? I’m certain the Houston rental shops are grateful for your decision, but our customers actually enjoy a little humor.

  • Bob

    Making fun of your customers is not a great business move. I’ll rather spend more and support my local businesses who are grateful for the business than a bitter man who hates what he does.

  • The hammer was fine, until I needed to call customer service, which is the worst in the industry. After weeks on hold, I was passed to a different department, where they didn’t even know what I was talking about. What a runaround. I will never buy another Stiletto, again.

  • Ghost Hunter

    I recently started a ghost hunting business and was wondering if any of you could tell me if this was a good hammer for bashing aggressive spirits that may try to attack me.

    It seems like the titanium would be right for that application. But I am worried that it may effect the ion movement and dispel non-aggressive entities before my buddy can snap a photo with his GigaPixel IR dslr with night vision lens (he says a guy at something called WPPI told him this was the best camera for ghost photography)

    Anyway, I am supposed to go to this old house tomorrow and could really use some advice

  • BangMaster2000

    OK, so I’ve been pretty psyched about this new stiletto, but I feel none of the comparison tests are really fair. After all, the Stiletto has a 1/3 inch head while its closest competitor, the undisputed SmackDown 22, has a full 1 inch head. Driving nails with a head that large requires no skill whatsoever.. Amateur town…
    Furthermore, the Stiletto is a full 2oz lighter and the handle is a full 2″ shorter. And it is $100 cheaper…
    It simply wouldn’t be a fair comparison at all.

    So, to make it a truly fair comparison, here’s what I’ve done:
    Took the Smackdown, got an angle grinder and reduced the head to 1/3 inch. Cut off 2″ from the grip and cut off material from the shaft until it matched the weight of the Stiletto exactly. And then I burned a $100 bill.

    Guess what?!!? The performance is I D E N T I C A L !!!!!

    Just proves that none of this new fancy stiletto tech cr@p can keep up with my old skool Smackdown 22.
    So even though I said the Smackdown was for amateurs, after this test I’m now saying if you don’t use it, youre a bent nail. ok?

    n00bs….

  • De Feats Drill

    Hi. i just sold the family car. So I have a fair amount to spend. But I couldn’t decide until I saw your review. Thanks soo much! I was going to wait until HAM, but I’m definitely going for the Stiletto now. I have to hang a calendar in the kitchen so the timing is perfect!
    I’ll post a video of the video of the unpacking when it comes.

  • ChickWithHammer

    Hi! I just upgraded to a “SE 5-in-1 Dual Interchangeable Head Hammer”. Quite a step up and a bit more complicated than my IIT 88400 pink claw hammer.

    I have built and sold a couple of fruit boxes that I made with my claw hammer, and my friends and family really think that I have talent! My best friend would like me to build their summer house in Topeka. I would really like to give that a try. I have watched a lot of Amish folk building, and was an assistant for a friend that had a big house to build. I handed him nails and made lunch and stuff.

    So, I think it’s time to go at it on my own. How much should I charge for building a house? What nails and other tools do you think I will need? Should I start with the second floor and work my way down? I know that a house is an important thing, so I hope I can build something that they will like!

  • Karl Riek

    Well done, Roger, well done!

  • Sledger

    Is there a place I can rent this hammer to try before I buy?

  • Short handle

    While the TB15SS is all the rage and seems the business, I’m still not convinved that a change to the Stiletto brand is on the cards for me. The way the hammer sits in my hand just doesn’t feel right, and the whole way it works is just so confusing to me. Who do they employ to work out the ergonomics on their hammers anyway? Some kind of masochist?

    I think I’d stay with my Gilbert K44 for now. I know it’s a great performer, and I can hammer with the best of ’em

  • Deep Thor Axe

    This sounds like fun …. I mean who doesn’t like to get hammered on a regular basis. Not to speak of daily nailing with some really hard wood (with or without the use of performance enhancing pharmaceuticals). Good exercise too I would imagine, pounding away and breaking a good sweat. I understand that there is room for a lot of self improvement, perfecting the ultimate technique and thrust. You pros are fortunate to have the benefit of ‘on the job’ training!

    Never mind the stiletto, any old hammer will do …. as long as I can grab the tool, get some wood and start pounding whenever the desire strikes and relieve the pent-up stresses of the day. Even if it means having to answer to the neighbours for the late night rukus, it would be worth it.

    What satisfaction

Follow on Feedly